The Practitioner: holiday mood

I THOUGHT ACCOUNTANTS were meant to be busy in December and January? Not in our office apparently, people are too busy doing more important things like planning the Christmas party.

The senior partner, being a miserable sod, postponed the Christmas party until January thinking it would give us an extra days work in the office before the shut-down to deal with the March year-end filings, and allow us to make a good start on the tax return backlog.

Obviously this didn’t happen. It merely gave the staff extra time to fight over the table plan, moan about how much they hate the party in the first place, plan what excuse they were going to give to get out of it, and talk about how they would rather be given the cash than forced to go on a night out with the rest of the staff and partners.

Believe me, I would also rather be in the pub with my quiz buddies than out with the odd mix of spotty teenager, shy qualified girl, fat lazy tax lady, in-the-closet senior and hot smoking mid-thirties mother of one that comprises a selection of our staff.

The planning for the Christmas party must have started back in September and will last right up until next Friday when the great night arrives. Never before have I seen so many arguments and tears about a seating plan.

I am privy to this inside information due to having a mole on the inside supplying me with it. She is the senior manager, a tricky position to hold I always thought, one foot in each camp; the staff camp and the partner camp. Still, she knows what side her bread is buttered on.

I was obviously aware that no one wanted to sit next to myself or my senior partner and found it quite funny the number of versions of the plan they did before everyone was happy. I would have wanted to sit next to the boss who was likely to buy you drinks all night, but maybe that’s just me.

The Practitioner’s uncensored thoughts come from the coalface of a regional firm in the heart of England

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The Practitioner