Taking Stock - 'I'm going to his house to slash his tyres'.

Being described as energetic, a fast-learner and motivated self-starter may be some people’s idea of utopia at work. But when Timothy Benson, an accountant at US firm Williams & Broderick, used such terms to describe himself to colleagues when he joined the firm, resentment soon set in. As reported in the ever-jovial theonion.com, only a few days into the job, Benson had already reorganised the stationary cupboard with a colour-coding system, offered to take on some extra projects over the weekend and bought a birthday present for the office manager’s five-year-old son. His actions caused outrage among colleagues. ‘The last thing I need as I’m trying to hold on to what little of my sanity remains is some young son of a bitch running around trying to increase productivity and get me to foster team spirit. If he doesn’t quit running to the fax machine every time it goes off, I’m going to go to his house in the middle of the night and slash his tyres,’ one veteran colleague was heard to mutter. But Benson insisted his positive, can-do approach would not only benefit the firm directly, but also motivate other staff members. ‘By raising the bar and doing the best job I can, I show my co-workers that they too can do their jobs better. And by setting a good example for management, I show the top brass that they can expect more out of other employees as well. That way everybody wins,’ Benson said. Taking Stock understands the words ‘baseball bat’ and ‘grave’ were used in the same sentence to describe the treatment some colleagues would like to see afforded to the young upstart. Let’s hope an atmosphere of team spirit is more prevalent this side of the Atlantic. ?: