Taking Stock - Gong for worst song.

What is the worst song ever written? Up until this week, staff at the Age thought it was PricewaterhouseCoopers’ guitar rock drone Your World. But now we can reveal something much worse.

Dedicated readers may remember KPMG denied it had written a song to motivate staff. But after five months of searching, TS has laid its hands on a copy of the pop anthem.

Imagine a Eurovision song contest entry, slow it down a bit and employ three fish wives as backing singers and you’re not far off. Add to that a terrible set of lyrics that encourage staff to run for gold and dream of power and energy, and you’ve got ‘KPMG, strong as can be’.

And while to the best of our knowledge there are no subliminal messages included, there is a stark warning for the rest of the Big Five or anyone who wants to have a pop.

Anyway, here are the lyrics. Hope you can hold your lunch down.

KPMG, we’re strong as can be;

A dream of power and energy;

We go for the goal, Together we hold;

A vision of global strategy.

We create;

We innovate;

A global dream, this our dream of the strength that we create.

We’ll be number one;

With effort and with fun;

Together we can run for gold;

That shines like the sun in our eyes.

The time is now;

To lead the way;

We share the same idea that may;

Win by the end of the day;

Our strength is here to stay.