Taking Stock - Standards could easily kill a man.

Following recent discussions over increased disclosure and the adoption of global accounting standards, TS has noted paperwork mounting to back breaking proportions.

A comment at the New IASC European conference in Brussels has led to deliberate whether there are more sinister motives at hand.

An ominous book of accounting standards in Europe is reputedly ‘big enough to kill a man’, according to Karel van Hulle, head of financial reporting and company law.

A more worrying development, Karel says, is that European standards-setters have converged to produce ‘the most confusing, indecipherable and utterly unreadable book’ in the hope of staving off the threat that US GAAP will become the official global accounting rules.

If anyone attempts to read it they will immediately fall into a deep sleep never to be revived, he says.

WHY BOTHER TO STRESS THE POINT?

First there was dress down day, now the corporate fashion is for ‘stress down’ Fridays. Always one to spot a passing fad and jump on the bandwagon, the normally stressed out staffers at KPMG have just been treated to a relaxing lunchtime recital by the Danesfield String Quartet. The melodic foursome conjured up such therapeutic classics as Eine Kleine Nacht Musik and songs from Cabaret.

However, TS’s chilled mole tells us that the karma was somewhat shattered when they heard the opening strains of that over-hyped theme from Titanic.

Sadly no sign of Celine Dion to console those who welled up at the thought of Leonardo slipping below the icy waters of the Atlantic.

NO NEED TO WHINE ABOUT LOCATION

Not such a chilled atmosphere for KPMG’s marketing community. A press release breezes across TS’s in-tray announcing ‘New Centres of excellence for KPMG Shared Services’. Apparently the shared services (formerly known as ‘support’) referred to are the central marketing department, which is being relocated above a wine bar in Fleet Street. Now TS is not one to quibble, but those who know the geography of KPMG’s ‘village’ around Blackfriars in London will soon realise that the new location for the ace marketeers, Bouverie House, is not exactly in the centre of the organisation.

Those with even better memories will remember when, 10 years ago, the marketing department, headed by one Colin Sharman, was above another wine bar in Creed Lane, close to St Paul’s. Again, not the most central of locations. Funny how progress often repeats itself.