Taking Stock – KPMG learns to sing for its supper.

Is it so hard to motivate staff working for Big Five firms? We can only assume it is when company bigwigs resort to asking musicians for help. Dedicated followers of TS will remember PricewaterhouseCoopers’ rousing anthem ‘Your World’, a timeless tribute to ’80s cheesey guitar rock which had us all waving our cigarette lighters in the air and playing the air guitar. And now KPMG has apparently jumped on the bandwagon, producing a tune so bad that it seems it has already been consigned to the dustbin. But before readers start swinging their shaggy poodle perms and cranking up the volume, the only line TS knows from the lost track is: ‘KPMG, strong as can be’. Not exactly inspiring, though at least it rhymes. More than could have been said for PwC’s offering. When asked about the tune, a spokesperson for the firm denied that it had ever even existed. They did, however, admit that research had taken place to discover if any of KPMG’s offices had downed their calculators in favour of Fenders. At that stage, only the Singapore office had been in the studio, managing to produce one of the world’s greatest Calypso misses. It contains the immortal words: – We are a people with many skills – Available to one and all – Whatever the needs or ills If any TS reader has a copy of the KPMG track we suggest hanging on to it for a decade or two. It’s bound to be worth a small fortune at auction.

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