Taking Stock – Great gags of our time featuring accountants: number

A Sunday League soccer team is so desperate for players that one Sunday they are forced to play with a chicken. Surprisingly, the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it’s clearing off its own line, the next putting in a perfect cross. At half time all team-mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half. On the way, the ref starts chatting to the chicken. ‘Great first half mate, you must be really fit.’ ‘Thanks,’ replies the chicken, ‘I try to keep myself fit. It’s difficult finding time, but I do an hour in the gym each morning before work.’ ‘What do you do?’ asked the ref. ‘I’m a chartered accountant,’ comes the reply. At that point the ref brandishes a red card and sends the chicken off. The bemused team-mates gather round and start complaining. ‘Sorry lads’, says the ref, ‘I had no choice. Professional fowl.’

Related reading