Management consulting speak from KPMG

The front-runner for most gobbledy-gook press release of the year is from our dear friends at KPMG.

The early signs were good: A joint press release from New York and London meant it was likely to have trans-Atlantic twang (think Cary Grant on Prozac); and the release revealed the purchase of a big consulting firm, so management double-speak was always likely.

Hence you had such classics as: “The name ‘EquaTerra’ means ‘level ground,’ which aligns well with KPMG’s philosophy of providing an objective sourcing and shared services advisory approach.”

Or: “EquaTerra’s highly experienced professionals, combined with the KPMG network’s deep market presence and objective shared services and outsourcing advisory team, will provide clients with a full life-cycle of capabilities – from strategy through to optimization – for companies seeking to reduce costs and improve effectiveness and efficiency.” Note the American use of Zs instead of Ss.

TS “looks forward” to seeing a contender to KPMG’s crown.