Write your own reference - Equitable style

The revelation that Charles Thomson, Equitable Life’s chief executive, wrote his own reference when he applied for work at the society, must have amused many at Ernst & Young, with whom the society is locked in a court battle.

But for TS, we were just a little confused over the fuss it has caused. After all, how do you, dear readers, think we got this job in the first place? Frankly it’s the only way to guarantee that your potential employers will get a glowing report.

‘TS excels in the world of gossip and satire,’ it read. ‘Not only will TS happily shop in close contacts, he is a character of immense integrity, intellect and drinking skills,’ it read.

Like Charles, we managed to get the job on the back of this. Our current employer overlooked the fact that we had made up the letter from our supposed former boss, with whom we were not at all close following a misunderstanding in a crowded pub.

TS still insists we said our boss was regularly nagging his secretary, but we digress.

In the grand scheme of things, making up the reference wasn’t a big deal. Compared with our other misdemeanours, it seems rather trivial, but then again our employers know nothing about those either.