IT SEEMS THAT former ICAEW prez Martin Hagen won't be winning any popularity contests at Western Selection any time soon.

The newly-appointed deputy chairman of Swallowfield has managed to really irritate Western, a major shareholder of the business.

Western, which owns 16.53% of Swallowfield, issued a statement to the stock exchange today that sets out in no uncertain terms that Hagen has questions to answer around recent board changes.

Hagen served as Swallowfield chairman for several months to January 2012, and has stepped down to deputy - replaced by Stephen Boyd. However, independent director Roger McDowell has left as part of the board reshuffle.

Western Capital wants to know why McDowell has gone, apparently on Hagen's watch.

"His dismissal, with all the semiotics implied in the phraseology of the release, has perplexed Western and other observers of the market," stated Western Capital.

"In view of the similar departure of Mr Patrick Gaynor, another independent minded, capable and knowledgeable director, from the board of Swallowfield in the recent past, Western will be making formal enquiries to Dr Hagen of why Mr McDowell was dismissed without apparent cause, and will keep the market fully appraised of its findings."

TS would like to be a fly on the wall when that conversation takes place. Although bearing in mind Western has said it will tell the market about its findings, perhaps TS won't need to use too much imagination.

TS NOTED with great interest that the ICAEW is tending its wounds after a mauling in Plymouth County Court.

Mike Pallot won 1,500 smackers from the institute, after the small claims court ruled he was entitled to back-payment for overpaid subs. He'd retired and the 'tute hadn't made it clear that he was entitled to reduced subs.

With a bit of digging, TS was tickled to hear that in the ICAEW's clamour to pay up, they mistakenly paid Pallot twice.

Some would argue that after the ICAEW's intransigence Pallot would have been within his rights to hold out on 'em for a while.

But as an ethical kind of guy (he is a chartered accountant after all) he paid it back straight away.

INSOLVENCY PRACTITIONERS have been given some stick of late. What with an Office of Fair Trading investigation earlier this year and ongoing press headlines surrounding their fees when company collapses (ahem) to name a few.

But at least they can add up.

At a recent ICAEW insolvency event, attendees were asked to vote on whether they think the current complaints procedure should be left as it is, taken away from regulators, or revised to include an independent complaints body.

Apparently, 101% of people voted.

That's right: 49% said it should be left as it is; 12% taken away; and 40% want a new complaints body.

As TS was chuckling on the way out, almost every delegate that passed by stopped to tell us the absurdity they had just witnessed.

We here at TS are very proud of the insolvency practitioners' ability to spot a mistake... but take note, we too can add up!

TS was more than surprised to find the ICAEW had elected a stuffed Gromit toy to its council.

One of the (human) members brought the plasticine-inspired critter to this morning's meeting, where a new president of the illustrious institute was solemnly elected. Gromit occupied his own space in the amphitheatre, thrust forward into the centre like the kid in nursery who always wants more attention.

Owner Joe Smoczynski introduced him to the board, before starting his question: "Gromit wants to know..."

To TS's surprise, no-one batted an eyelid and Gromit's question was answered with the utmost integrity.

Were TS to require the services of an accountant, one that was not channelling a stuffed dog would probably be our first choice.

TS is eagerly anticipating the ICAEW's annual review, due to be published tomorrow. Last year's offering was a smorgasbord of shimmering graphics and eye-catching symbols that danced obligingly on screen. Readers were treated to such literary treats as the 2010 strategy (get bigger) and 2009 budget ("challenging", with an ominous-sounding "deep procurement review"). TS can't wait to see what this year has in store for the prestigious institute. With the royal wedding still fresh in people's minds, hopes are high for a more optimistic review, possibly with a bit more spare cash and a free badge for every member.

WE ALL KNOW that the profession likes to think it can turn its hand to anything (when not conflicted out of course), but the ICAEW is taking the biscuit. With TS contemplating the Royal Wedding, and the extra day off we all get, an advert in the Metro piqued our interest.

Weddings at “…a beautiful and historic setting in the heart of London”. Westminster Abbey, surely? thought TS.

Nope. It was an ad for hiring out the institute’s One Moorgate Place restaurant and now, apparently, reception area.

The institute also wanted TS to point out that members can get a whopping 10% discount on the room hire element of each wedding package. Will TS see a penny of commission? Not a chance.

TS WAS IMPRESSED with ICAEW practice chief Gill Sykes’ enthusiasm for the new Practice Centre.

The centre will be the ICAEW’s outlet and representative for smaller practices.
Sykes’ excitement for the project could best be summed up with her ‘out there’ reference to 80s culture.

Sykes explained that the centre won’t be able to perform miracles in its first few weeks.
She said it was totally different to Howard’s Way, where the businessmen would be sat around a boardroom one minute then show up at a newly-built boatyard
the next.

A good attempt Gill, definitely from left-field. But we would have preferred a reference to Dynasty, or even Crossroads.

(Picture © BBC)